What Would You Do Differently If You Knew Nobody Would Judge You?
Tribalism Is Over!
Our egos need to feel safe to grow and thrive together; We are an interconnected planet… tribalism is over!
Let’s take a moment to explore why moving toward authenticity and away from tribalism is the best case for large corporate entities and our culture today, and why allowing tribalism to flourish would be a mistake in our diverse America and interconnected globe.
The outright blaming of what might seem like the opposite side of an issue is akin to being angry at your deceased Great Grandfather for something you don’t believe in, that he did but you do not.
Most things we are upset about today were put into play a long time ago. Posturing to be right isn’t logical or sensical for solving our complex situations of today.
You can rebuke the act, but you cannot be responsible for anyone else’s actions – only your own.
Leaving tribalism behind seems difficult in a world full of unique individuals with a system of beliefs and attitudes about many things already set in place by their ancestors before we even meet; it’s reasonable that we feel no one has a true understanding of any of our own cultural traditions, ways, and beliefs mostly because they don’t!
It is normal to want to stay close to people like yourself; people who have experienced things you have too.
However, it is actually better for us to understand diversity and embrace duality to evolve without judgement. When we engage this way we become more coherent, united, supportive, or cohesive as humans and we actually learn about things we might not have – due to inherent tribal bias.
As opposed to arguing rhetoric – that just breeds contempt, we could be engaging in a Hegelian dialectic. Too much self-serving, capital-focused Marx’ debate and we might end up losing what we are all fighting for – no matter our tribe – belonging somewhere, and the freedom to just be!
Psychologists or evidence-based professionals say we build our ego in early childhood based on our experiences – out of our ability to see others in action or reacting. This aligns with what I’ve studied, experienced and read since the 70’s.
Yet I have also read the work of professionals who went further to say that we actually do this to protect our higher self, our soul, our spirit – the inside of ourselves, our software; indicating an awareness of sorts that this is accessible to us for knowing what we need, and who we are even before coming of age. I agree with this too.
Matter of fact, I think most of us can now lean toward the latter being the ‘why’ with the former being the initial ‘how’ of our upbringing since science, physics and psychology have started to talk.
As I evolved out of my ego-conditioning, my personal intention was to be open to any discovery, even those outside my clan. I actually changed my perspective on important subjects as I evolved – against my tribe. Some issues that I moved toward were in opposition to my dearest tribal members – sorry Mom, but they were right for me.
So far my tribe still loves me, but we don’t always agree.
This brings me to the point around the ‘why’. If we develop our persona to exist with others, yet protect our innate intuition, our essence, which helps us accomplish what we believe or know we are here to do we are getting there. Now all we have to solve for is how to sustain this if every day, people who cannot see our insides, are continually influencing, and or judging us as if they know us!
Don’t misunderstand I am not speaking of government as a system here, but people – individuals. I think about this a great deal because it is people that make up all of our cultural systems. Which makes systemic issues really individual ones.
If we grow strong enough individually – in and of ourselves to own our innate power responsibly, see what is good for all versus just some through understanding duality and consciously tune out the noise we can live by the soul and not the tribe.
Then our power is conscious and generative behavior is authentic – not dependent on tribe values, judgement and beliefs. Could this work as a way for us to navigate the new interconnected world? I have seen it in motion and successful, but because of our history it’s not that easy – but not impossible!
Ultimately, we all want to make sense to ourselves, and not be seen unfavorably by others; we are aware of how this can cause material, physical, and or emotional harm today – especially at work and in social media.
Then we have to ask ourselves a few things, do we conform to whatever tribe we belong to until self-enlightenment occurs or until we can’t conform anymore? Or, do we become conscious of who we are and nonjudgemental of where others are on their journey and live ourselves and allow others to live authentically?
Conforming and enlightenment, as well as change through trauma and crisis, are all ways to get in touch with your authentic self; it’s no matter how it happens as long as you grow in consciousness and clarity, and inquire within yourself to ask,
am i experiencing authentic growth that is right for me?
Or, do we take another route to introspect, learn from the past, and reveal our current true selves; letting the chips fall where they may no matter who we associate with at work, play, or at home? If the evidence-based professionals are accurate – then it feels like our mid-stream evolution makes all of this a bit of a conundrum to me.
We need to belong, yet we need to be authentic and we are in transition.
By the way, didn’t this process accelerate for so many during the Covid pandemic; with time to think the retrospection became a ritual. Again was that acceleration real, and if so what does this now mean for individuals and corporate tribalism?
I remember reading the Organizational Man in the 80’s – it came out in the late ’50s but was out of print for a long time. My Dad actually gave me his copy. I also read The Dancing Wu Li Masters around that same time and I often felt over the years like I was in a tribal time-warp stuck between Wu Li and capitalism.
Life surely has a complex set of issues to deal with everyday. Our motherboard of internal software is programmed by external inputs of ancestral info from those who loved or love us the best they can, but were not fully aware or able to see our intrinsic and evolving self – against our transcending culture so different than theres.
While we sort through our familial tribal conditioning we enter a business world that has not fully let go of its 1880’s tribal nature; forcing transcendent people to live and work in a world that is retaining genetic, and gender bias.
Surely, our ancestors that often made our circuitry blow early in life linger in our neuro pathways. Unless we repair or replace connections we allow others to see us in ways we are really not – the same for corporate and government. The ways we do not want to act or sometimes enjoy acting – even if we tell no one, still persist.
The process of childrearing and individuation has gotten better from generational learning but great progress has been recent and is not evolved enough to move with the rapid technological shifts we are undergoing.
Then there are those who saw trauma or crisis – a pandemic even that arrives on our doorstep, and suddenly we are looking at tribal things very differently. Trauma makes it all mush together, or makes perfect sense of change.
If our ancestral history seals our initial fate – the home or tribe we are born into – our initial programming due to geographical location of home, the social status of our people – then it is safe to say that destiny is surely in our control.
We can take the helm to move away from unconscious tribal habits to conscious choice.
As we look inside ourselves to evolve into authentic an individual no matter our chronological age we may naturally move away from tribal beliefs and values. We might have to re-examine where we work, our friends, our political affiliations, but in America we can still go where we wish to go and with whom we wish to spend our days.
We still have freedom!
Do we ever leave our familial tribal behavior: traditions, habits, character traits completely behind? I don’t think so, and that seems okay as long as we consciously work at being our authentic selves with kindness. I know there will be hurt as we see the truth of our lives and our tribes – there was for me, this is inevitable. However, I am grateful that I live in a country where I still have meaningful, experiential choices.
Science demands we prove theory from fact (evidence backed – no subjection), but do we all agree yet that there are some things we know from our intuition?
It was never appropriate in the past to even use the word “intuition” – especially if you were a man, lest ye be judged by your tribe to be weak and have feminine qualities.
So, we may be a bit new at understanding this concept – nonetheless, we’re here now and need to wrap our arms around intuition – the ability to understand your essence, purpose and gifts – a knowing from a place deep within yourself that is connected to a higher consciousness. A focus on intution, grace, forgiveness, and allowance for others not in your tribe just to be – without judgement.
Learning how to work together without stomping out authenticity – building a authentic cultural intelligence in the workplace that is inclusive – to succeed at a time when learning from the past is the healing salve.
Digital has taken evidence-based practitioners to the airwaves and in a broader reaching format than the Barnes & Noble shelves of old – they have validated that intuition absolutely has no gender no genetics; well known and respected scientists have gone as far as saying “my intuition tells me” when juxtaposing empirical evidence with their internal software.
Because we are all evolving, holding onto our past tribal thinking as the only truth is narrow, narrow-minded and risky.
Leaning further in to seek truth – and using truth even if it is “our” tribe, “our” view, or “our” values that don’t work holistically – for the current world to be peaceful, sustainable, and prosperous. The truth with kindness and the intention to create holistic solutions is the ticket. Self truth and intuition has become very important for moving away from ego, so begin to engage your own.
Those who say they have never made a misjudgment, or have no need to change their opinion on something important that is evolving before our very eyes – well, feel free to cast the first digital stone.
For me, the opposite of multi-view research that turns into facts or evidence-based understanding is tribal dogma.
When we really look at how tribalism works and how being judged and manipulated comes into play here, I wonder what effort we might put into doing something different? If we knew no one – and especially no one from our tribe, would judge us, would we change?
Despite my forced diverse reading on this subject matter – I’m sure I still have what psychology calls information deficit or naïve realism – naive intuition; I too have further evolving to do.
Still, I hope that as you read this, “your” beliefs will allow you to consider – my words and thoughts.
Because I am motivated in life to be as accurate as I can be I too must evaluate whether I am hearing “the noise” or getting a valid internal signal; we can all do this today to determine if our solutions are intuitive, fact-based or even better – both as we evolve together.
As long as we listen to one another and strive to co-operate instead of judge and posture Gary Zurkav’s method of meeting each other with wisdom and with love, to bring joy and understanding, not contempt will help us contribute to making life a better human experience for all!
“We have much to do together. Let us do it in wisdom and love and joy. Let us make this the human experience.”
A Few research Points About Tribal Thinking – consider whether You Agree?
- In tribes stated “facts” can be personally interpreted or spun in a different way, yet still tribally infectious.
- The attitude around being accepted by the tribe members creates an infectious need for allegiance.
- These allegiances are often motivated by the goals of the tribe, not the objective truth.
- Members wholly identify with the tribe – against other tribes.
- Despite objective truth uncovered, tribe members often retain the opinion to remain faithful to the tribe.
- The tribe becomes an “us” vs. “them” place to live; this creates competition, anger, adversity, and disharmony – these are .
All Symptoms found inside tyrannical regimes
When I was growing up tribalism seems harmless, but a few years ago I ran into a friend who was working in Florence, Italy. She and I met for coffee and she alerted me to the old new ethnic proposal in Italy. She said Tribalism is the new Racism and forwarded me an article with the same title.
Tribal thinking makes us look at the other with distrust and fear – the opposite of what we need to evolve and grow freely as humans right now.
What lies between going after our soul mission in life and staying with the tribe is our attitude around exerting the effort it takes to look inward at our complex software and make some shifts to transform.
While the workings of consciousness are a complicated psychological phenomenon still under scrutiny, there are ways to change undesirable ancestral behavior.
Tribalism and cultural cognitive bias are part of our persona – right now, for all of us; these were developed at a young age and then cultivated as we were educated and they are static or automatic until we shift.
We are a young America, so we must be kind, objective, humble, and considerate – not to judge one another or ourselves done before us . We are here to make things better!
Let us start by simply asking when we engage in rhetoric, defend a position, or make a subjective statement sound like a fact – is this a story I tell myself, is this really true for me? Does this appear to be true in life or is there fact evidence showing otherwise, and have I looked at both sides of this issue?
Are my thoughts authentic or tribal – no judgment?
Thoughts for us are neither good nor bad – just a state of our mind; until we act upon them or impact others, we have only to retrospect upon our one thinking. the results of our own behavior. If we hurt others or impact the healthy growth of an evolving society well, that’s different. It actually then becomes tribal.
It’s simply complicated.
Lean Agile Enterprise Coach, Business Enterprise Analyst, Digital Transformation Specialist, Writer. 25 years of business and technology experience.
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